The Bottom Basement

First Plane Ride!

2008-04-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

I know its pathetic, but I just recently had my first plane ride! It was a domestic flight to Davao but at least I can say that it was quite an experience, minimal turbulence, clear skies and all. The trip around the province, on the other hand, is a different story all together. A story which shall be posted here once i get all the pictures stored and documented.

Recent Observations

2008-02-18T00:11:00.000-08:00

Watching the Senate hearing on the NBN/Jun Lozada Case and the subsequent events which have unfolded, I have observed a few things, namely:

The Power of the FINGER: Who was that bald man speaking english and asking CHED Secretary Romulo Neri to "tell the truth!"?

If you've been watching the news surrounding the Trial, you may have noticed footage of a bald (or was it balding) man with a backpack who walked up to Secretary Neri and went on a monologue which was basically demanding the CHED Secretary to "tell the truth". He was going on and on while Secretary Neri was listening patiently to the tirade and eventually had to be escorted to his service car wherein the bald man still continued his haranguing. When Mr Neri reached the vehicle, the bald man now began the actual finger pointing. Yes, for all his english he finally resorted to finger pointing while nagging the Secretary to "tell the truth, tell the truth!"

I'm sure emotions were running high, him being bald and carrying a backpack and all, probably waiting for hours in front of Mr Neri's house, not to mention the frustration the public must be feeling over the NBN/Jun Lozada issue, but I believe there was no call for that sort of rude behavior. Seriously speaking, you can shout, you can scream, you can curse or you can simply state what you want to say in a normal tone. Will pointing a finger at someone's face really help get the point across? I'm sure countless discussions were resolved by screaming at the top of your lungs and pointing a finger at another person's face. Why, if people didn't know it yet, we should broadcast that pointing a finger at someone's face is the solution to world peace! It will help everybody get along! If the Tutsis in Rwanda and the ethnic Albanians in Kosovo walked up to those who were committing genocide and pointed a finger at their face and said "stop! stop!" then I ‘m certain the ethnic cleansing and systematic murders would have stopped right there! Right at that moment! Alas, that knowledge has come too late to save the lives of millions.

But then maybe the finger pointing was aimed at provoking a different response, most likely a negative response from the Secretary. I suppose it always looks good when you're abused by high-ranking officials and their bodyguards on national television.

Allow me then to pose this question: What will happen if Neri "tells the truth"? What is the "Truth" supposed to be?! That there is corruption on a massive scale within the government? REALLY?! THERE IS CORRUPTION IS THE GOVERNMENT?! OMG!!!! I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER THOUGHT OF THAT! WOW! NOW MY FAITH AND IDEALISM IN THE WORLD IS SHATTERED AND I AM LEFT WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT PICK UP THE PIECES! Seriously, what do they want him (Secretary Neri) to say?

Say he does reveal some nefarious deed of corruption, then what? More rallies in the streets? more protests? more blog entries? more effigies and pictures burned? another EDSA people-power-type revolt? How can that solve our problem? 1) another EDSA would undermine the democratic system the country. Unless of course, people don't want a democracy then we can just either be ruled a military junta, a dictator or a politburo, different strokes for different folks. 2) will ousting the present government change the deeply ingrained culture of corruption within the country? Let me cite examples: a policeman or traffic enforcer apprehends a violator, the offending driver offers a bride, the apprehending officer accepts, who is to corrupt? why does the driver believe that brides will work? why bribe in the first place? why accept a bribe? In getting a drivers' license, why pay someone to pass the drivers' exam? I believe that corruption has become such an important part of how we do business with the government that what we need is a cultural change. I have no idea how this can be done, how the people can convince the leaders to not be corrupt but it has to be done.

I love my country, make no mistake about it and I am frustrated by the situation yet I refuse to support anything driven purely by emotion without consideration of the future outcome.

Government employment

2008-01-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

I had the misfortune of being present during a seminar hosted by a foreign embassy wherein the participants were from government offices. The said embassy paid for everything, including the food, and was the ones responsible for the menu served during the luncheon. I thought my ears had gone crazy when someone approached the caterer and inquired in an angry tone: "Baket walang kanin?! (Why is there no rice?!)" considering the person asking is well aware that the menu for the function was selected by the foreign embassy. I immediately wanted to react and say that he/she should be thankful for being fed free food or if they had an qualms about the food, they should take it up with the embassy representatives. There was also one who wanted all the unconsumed food wrapped up as if they paid for it. Amazing. It shows that people will always try to get everything they can as long as it’s free. I understand its a natural reaction for some (technically I'd understand more if they were impoverished and were suffering from malnutrition not the plump exteriors that these pompous individuals were strutting it.) since free stuff have a different attraction but if they were in government, it makes we wonder what they imagine "free stuff" to be, say something other people already paid for, other people like taxpayers? :D

More Hung Gar Training

2007-11-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

Hung Gar training has just become more exciting, my Sifu (teacher in chinese, I think) has begun incorporating sparring in the training sessions. Actually, very, very ,very light sparring, no armor and no contact really, using only Hung Gar moves. This allows for complete freedom of movement and allows one to be familiar with his or her body. This is also very advantageous for me because of my size a weight (neither tall nor heavy) so I can try to escape most hits because I probably won't survive them.

The first sparring session I had with Sifu was a clear demonstration of his martial dominance (not that it was ever in question), speed and strength and tactics were obvious in the finality of his punches, blocks and more importantly, his footwork. To be honest, if Sifu took the sparring seriously, I would be down after the first hit and I'd be lucky if I wasn't knocked out cold. Well he is the master and I am the student.

Training is currently being conducted in a new venue, Kong Han Athletics Club, also in Binondo. The venue offers much a much wider space where students can get thrown on the mat and practice the forms in a less constricted environment. The venue also displays a myriad of chinese weapons and martial gear to enhance that traditional kung fu feeling. I've been trying to training harder, alas my work schedule oftentimes gets in the way but I pray that I've been showing some improvement.

I'd recommend this martial art to anyone who'd be interested in a great mix of traditional Chinese martial arts and their modern application. Its also a great way to get in shapre, relieve stress and, in the case of one of my friends, to loosen that slight pain in your back via a hip throw.

I will continue to train until Sifu Frank tells me to stop, til then I only hope I can gain the strength to follow his words of wisdom: "When you punch your opponent, you should punch like you're trying to break through a wall".

Hellgate London Anticipation

2007-10-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

Flagship Studios' Hellgate:London comes out on October 31 2007, and I must say the game looks impressive and looks addictive. Everyone who is aware of the game is eagerly anticipating its release, bordering on addiction. Needless to say, it isn't coming out soon enough.

Human Rights?

2007-07-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

Last July 10 2007 a group of about a hundred Philippine Marines were conducting operations in an area in Basilan, an island in the southern Philippines in search of an Italian priest abducted by an unknown group. According to the media, it had been raining for most of the day when at 1000H, as the marines were returning from their search, they were fired upon by a force around four or five times their number. A fierce ten-hour gun battle ensured, bullets and mortars rained down on the marines and they fought for their very lives as they requested for support in order to withdraw and regroup. As the marines withdrew, some soldiers acted as the rear guard, to secure the flank of their retreating comrades. When the marines were finally able to return to regroup, they had counted fourteen of their brothers-in-arms missing.

The following day, the government representatives returned to the ambush cite to gather up the survivors and the equipment left behind, only to find trucks and vehicles burned and soldiers’ corpses mutilated, behead and stripped of their belongings. The MILF claimed responsibility for the ambush, saying that it was the fault of the military for not properly coordinating with the MILF leadership before entering the town. This is in light of the fact that there is an on-going peace process between the government and MILF. I never realized that the peace process had already concluded with the granting of independence to areas in Mindanao under the MILF. Whatever happened to the sovereignty of the Philippines?

In a statement, the MILF said that it was not its policy to decapitate and mutilate their fallen foes and that they will conduct an investigation to determine the culprits of those acts. When activists are killed, rallies are staged and the blame is immediately placed on the military or the government or the police, people cry for international intervention and scream human rights violations. If these accusations are proven true, then they had good reason to cry foul! But when marines are killed in search of a kidnap victim, some of them beheaded and mutilated and robbed of their personal effects, who screams "HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS!"? Only their families and friends and comrades seem to be doing the crying and screaming for justice? Shouldn't people be rallying in the streets for what happened? Do we not live in a society that abhors such actions? Do we not live in a modern age of lobbying and blogging and rallying and protesting and democratic representation? I am personally outraged by these events and I hope I am not the only one.

Hung Gar Kung Fu

2007-07-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

Searching for hours on the net with the keywords "kung fu Philippines", I suddenly found myself wanting to try something new in my previously boring existence. My search yielded numerous hits but what interested me the most was this one about Hung Gar Kung Fu, an old style that was newly established here in the Philippines, formerly based in Hong Kong but with disciples and masters around the world. I immediately emailed the contact person, a certain Sifu Frank Bolte, and inquired on a schedule and the fees and the like. Low and behold, he replied in a matter of hours and I found myself dragging two good friends along to learn Hung Gar Boxing in the heart of Binondo.

At the onset, the exercises were very challenging (often painful) but gradually I discovered that the more you do these things, the less painful they get, at least until Sifu added something new to the mix. The initial exercises are designed to strengthen the fingers, wrists, shoulders and arms. I will not enumerate the details of the actual exercises at the moment because I believe one must experience it firsthand to properly appreciate the experience. I've been training for roughly three months now; I can't really say how much I've progressed because I've yet to master the first form but it really is quite an enjoyable experience for me and my "Kung Fu brothers".

Further updates to follow...

The sometimes we forget

2007-02-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

Numerous movies have been made about the Second World War, the Vietnam War, the First World War and countless other battles and wars in man's brief history but I'd like to discuss a war where the Filipinos stood tall and stood proud. The Korean war between the communist North Korea and the democratic South Korea. The North was supported by Russian weapons and Chinese "volunteers" while the south was under the command of the United States Military with a mandate from the United Nations to halt the mounting aggression from the communists.

The Filipino soldier deployed then were hardened veterans, fighting against the Japanese during the occupation as guerillas and fighting the communists shortly after. The Philippines sent a total of 7,400 men as part of the Philippine Expeditionary Force to Korea (PEFTOK) and these 7,400 men were the best of best.

I discovered these facts during the course of my research for work and I felt proud as I read the articles. Mayhap some others would be interested in the stories contained in this website http://www.geocities.com/peftok/index.html as it discussed the individual achievements of each Philippine battalion.

Some wars are forgotten but I believe this one should not be.

Karma

2007-02-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

Is there any justice in this world? I believe so. In a country such as ours when sometimes (I'm still an idealist) justice has a price, can anyone recieve what is due to them? Allow me to solicit comments for this example: What if somebody told somebody else that everything is fine and good and makes one believe that there is respect and trust in the context of both the personal and professional field, reassuring the other and using pretty words and appeals to pity then suddenly tells other people ugly things about the other person, maligning that person's reputation, not to mention peddling a truckload of lies and manure affecting the lives of other people, will some divine justice be meted out? Will their lives be left in a state of ruin and misery?

Out of the people I've asked most have said yes. Surprisingly, one person I asked said that Karmic justice would manifest itself not with the doer of the deed but maybe with the person's loved ones, maybe a spouse, an offspring, pets, certainly where it would hurt the most. At that point the person would then realize that it is Karma. Some would say that the lives of the reciepients of Karmic justice would then become miserable, maybe the winds of fate would decree that their lives become loveless, empty, hollow and miserable as they become bitter, sad, lonely and without the beautiful gifts that life brings such as happiness, peace and real love. Karmic justice can also turn successes into failures, for example, a successful career can then be balanced by a miserable personal life. I, personally would not wish this upon anyone, I believe that people bring these upon themselves. Karmic justice, it seems, does not listen to niether arguments nor excuses, words mean little and as they say "there is no such as innocence, only varying degrees of guilt."

Humans sometimes live their lives as if they were immortal, untouchable and impervious to any harm whatsoever and this may lead them to do cruel deeds towards their fellow man not realizing Newton's third law which states that with every action there is an equal and reaction. I try to live my life treating other humans as humans, life is indeed too short for petty grudges and small acts of vengence. If we were to live our lives in pursuit of these things then we can be assured that when we look back, we will see the futility of these mediocre deeds and the lack of meaning of the lives we have lived. Before we know it, our time would be up, we would look at the mirror with our backs bent, our faces sagging, our bodies old and smelly and we would realize that life could have been spent on better things, instead of bitter things.

So with that I leave everything to Karma, I believe in it and I believe it will come to those who deserve to suffer, ten-fold. If something similar were to happen to me I wouldn't waste my time with pathetic individuals such as those, I'm fortunate to have matured past my teenage years and I always keep in mind that nothing lasts forever, power, money, possessions, friends family and life.

Learn to respect and you too shall be respected.

That Great Burden

2006-12-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

Often times we fail to notice the years passing us by, our accumulated memories and experiences serve as reminders of the time that passed us by until we realize that little by little we accept responsibility. Ah yes, responsibility, that burden that we see as too heavy for us but then at some point we no longer have the luxury of escaping it, whether it be something that we take on willingly, by choice or because circumstances have left us no logical alternative.

More often than not, we bring these things upon ourselves, the choices we make, the paths we have chosen lead us to this. I do not believe in the "right-ness" or "wrong-ness"of choices only that they are what they are and should be accepted as gracefully as possible. In the life of a person, we make inumerable decisions: to eat or not to eat, to play or not to play, to love or not to love, to let go or not to let or, what is for me, the most important, to be happy or not not to be happy. If our existence mirrored that of the lives of characters in a video game wherein we have the ability to SAVE and then LOAD, then maybe life would be better but I doubt that. I think life would be such a pointless exercise if we were to have comfortable and care-free lives, never taking responsibility for our actions, always changing the outcome based on what we want, we would be as gods of our own destiny, able to forsee and alter the future events. Would a life like that be worth living?

If I was asked, I would say: nay, 'tis not a life I would wish to lead. What happens to the pain? the anguish? the desperation and frustration and loniliness and saddness? How can one truly feel alive and say that one has lived if these have never come to pass in our miserable existence? Again, the rule of opposites apply; to enjoy happiness we must experience the bottom pit of depression and sadness, what is hope without despair and what is love without hate? These emotions all make us human, if we choose only the emotions we want then we are just machines with swtiches, similar to Data, a character in the series Star Trek: The Next Generation with his pathetic emotion switch.

Pardon my cliche-ness but as Pablo Neruda wrote: "Love is so short, forgetting is so long." but then such is life. We choose to let go of the one we care about the most and we hate ourselves for that decision, we can hate ourselves our entire lives but it won't change a thing, those arms will no longer hold us, those lips will no caress our lips, those eyes will no longer look at us with the same love or passion.

To quote Neruda once again: "Another's. She will be another's, like my kisses before her...". What we can do is go on with our lives carrying only the fondest thoughts and the happiest memories of times past and be thankful for that moment of bliss. Some are fortunate to have the priviledge to choose to send away the person they care about or love while others have no say in the matter. Who is more fortunate?

I believe that wallowing in self pity is but a necessary stage during times of despair, similar to the "drinking and dialing" and the "I- hate- you- you- ruined- my- life- stage" stage but these are just stages, moments of weakness not lifestyles to be maintained. I believe the truest measure of a man is his ability of stand up after he's been beaten down and kicked and spit on then throwing the aggressor the finger and saying: "that's all you got?!"

We choose how we live our lives and supposedly, our friends are there to support us, only to support us, not to carry us upon their shoulders because it is a choice, whether we want to stand up once again in the first place or not.

Belated Merry Christmas.

Musings on the Train

2006-11-26T18:58:00.000-08:00

The long commute to work leaves me with ample time to contemplate on numerous things, if I don't have a book that is. One of the first things I've noticed in the LRT and MRT is that even if the communters were already segregated into"all female" and regular cars to keep the female population safe from the wandering eyes and exploratory hands of the women-hungry male animals in the "normal" train, women still choose to ride the "normal" train. Now i began to wonder why this was and i fugured that maybe it was all due to the overcrowding of the female part of the train (as there is a male to female ratio of 1:6) but i discovered that the female train isn't even that crowed! atleast not like the sardines-like condition in our part of the train.

Then I finally figured it out! In the male part of the train, they have to rely on chivalry of the nearby males to give them seats! This is the procedure: 1) enter the train and survey the occupants of the seats. 2) ease your way into the seat area 3) look for a male that looks to be courteous and is not carrying heavy bags or such 4) stand right in-front of the male and appear to be inconvienced by the load that you are carrying 5) wait patiently as nearby males and females turn their heads towards the male who is about to lose his seat 6) thank the poor man with a smile and slowly ease into your seat 7) watch the male and thank the gods for the blessing of gentlemen silently toast to your victory.

Let me just say that I prefer to stand when in a train as it saves me the trouble of getting up and looking all-gentlemanly/wussy/defeated by society's standards. But standing up, i still find myself inadvertently giving up a nice piece of space close to the dorrs and the nadles for a woman, although make no mistake about it, I will give up my seat for a woman, espcially for the elderly/pregnant or those carrying heavy loads. But then should men really give up our seats? why can't they stay on their part of the train? Well I overheard a group of women talking while waiting for a train in the station and it went something like this:

Female 1: San ka pupunta? dito na tayo magantay! (Where are you going? lets just wait here!)

Female 2: Dun ako sa parte ng tren na puro babe. (Im going to the part of the train for women)

F1: Wag na! Di nga siksikan dun pero di ka rin naman makakaupo! Pag dun ka sumakay walang magbibigay sayo ng upuan nila. (Don't go there! It may not be crowed there but you won't be able to get a seat there either, if you ride that part of the train, no one's gonna give you their seat. )

F2: Hmm oo nga ano, dito nalang tayo cguro naman may gentleman na magpapaupo satin dito. (hmmm yes that's right, lets just stary here, im sure a gentle will give up his seat for us)

Gender equality indeed. Need I say more?

Change of Environment...

2006-11-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

I recently transfered to a new office and I must say I'm feeling pretty comfortable here. Yes my computer cannot handle six open windows at the same time (3 MS Word documents, 2 Internet Expolorer WIndows and 1 Yahoo Messenger) and i feel sleep coming over me as i attempt to scroll down the pages of a document. I don't have a printer of my own, I don't really have a cubicle anymore, its more like a large communal space so I can't just sleep any time i want but this place has its benefits.

1) less stress
2) have yet to recieve a verbal barrage regarding my ineptness and how I need maturity
3) have yet to recieve orders that change every so often
4) If its in black and white you can't deny it
5) I get to leave the office at the time I am supposed to leave the office, like normal people

Well the renumeration is certainly less than what i was previously receiving but then there's less stress, a healthier working environment and I haven't heard a single scream related to frustration/anger/desperation so I fee safe here.

The people have been treating me very kindly, patiently showing me where the smoking areas are, where to buy cigarettes if I run out and inviting me to partake of the lunch served at various seminars and lectures being conducted for the day. Such is life.

I'm only staying till the end of year after that once again I get thrown into the great void of unemployment uncertainty, it seems every year is really a new year for me, at least careerwise. So I'm just going to try to do my best and see where the winds of change take me next year.

Ironically my first assignment upon transfer was to about the environment. Allow me to elaborate this furth: "The Role of the Business Sector in Protecting the Environment". Now I know that defense is also involved in environmental protection and disaster response as per the global trend of transforming the military from a purely gun-toting, cadence-marching, kilometer-jogging and snap-saluting institution that only servers to protect the sovereignty of state and its people to all of the above plus responding to the immediate needs in times of emergencies such as natural or man-made disasters.

Now I've done my fair share of research in the field of defense and security, I did papers on defense issues, military issues, security issues, insugrencies, military reforms any so many other topics related to defense but I have never done anything remotely related to climate change/global warming, air pollution, solid and water waste management and renewable energy. I must admit that the change of research areas left my head spinning. Climate Change?! Global Warming?! CO2 Emissions?! The Greenhouse Effect?! What the fuck?! and therefore it took me three very difficult days to complete my first reference folder on the environment...

But a change in environment is always for the better. Allow me to put it in a rather creative way. Its like coming from a planet wherein large scale conflicts are a way of life (sort of like what the Earth is but with world war three happening everyday since world war two ended)), creat armies clashing, explosions rocking the very ground you stand upon, screams of the dying mixed with the smell of blood and death and rot and filth. Where every leader is a hitler or Stalin or a Slobodan Milosevic. Just the general nightmarish scenario of an above average full-scale world war. Now what would happen if you escaped the planet and landed in another place full of peaceful, sunny, coconut-tree littered white sand beaches with friendly natives?

Rants and Raves

2006-07-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

Let me start by articulating my fondest compliments to mother nature for the adequately comfortable amount of rainfall and wind that has been descending on the smog infested, heat afflicted and noisy metropolis. Although it has been stated that the effects of tropical rains affect the rural areas differently compared to the urban centers, I now officially feel greedy for praising something that has not really had a great effect on myself but has wrecked havok on the lives of others... I now feel like a jerk.

Talking about jerks... How does one qualify to be a jerk? Is there a certain criteria for a male to be considered a jerk? Unlike the female version which is a "bitch", men rarely advertise the fact that they are "jerky" as compared to women who proudly call themselves "bitchy" or refer to themselves as a "bitch". Returning to the measure of jerkiness, I have no idea how one can be considered a jerk. Is it being discourteous to women or being a gentleman but having many women? All this stems from the need to understand the female psyche to better enhance male-female relations. Additional insights on this topic is requested from anyone who could spare the time to discuss the issue.

2006-07-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

After a week and half sojourn from the work place I have returned. Previously, my health problems have been piling up aalong with medical bills that I can ill afford and I had assumed the worst, contemplating where I could've gone wrong in my life (the list seems endless) in preparation for the final curtains. Yes, paranoia did set in. After consulting with a few doctors, undergoing countless medical examinaitons including asthma and highblood, i was just recently given a clean bill of health. Absolutely nothing wrong with my corporeal form, healthy as an ox! or atleast a healthy ox. The next question was now probing at the cause of it all. the shortness of breath, the bouts of highblood and the heart palpitations. The conclusion was these were anxiety attacks, directly related to stess and distress, both at the workplace and at home.

Why would I be stressed at work? The long 13 hour days seems normal for most people, most people seem to be able to handle lectures and scoldings from the boss and low pay never really got anybody sick. Well the reasons seem endless at this point, the cure though has been repeatedly mentioned by cousins and relatives since the onset of the initail attack: look for a new job.

But I must admit that the stress is not exclusive to the office, pressure and stress at home may have been a contributing factor so I am in the process of searching for ways to relieve that stress, although the thought process involved in stressful enough hehehe.

I know I am three weeks behind on the "Daily dose of the Geneva Convention of 1949" which I probly might just turn into a weekly dose, as a daily update may mean that I will not complete anything for work. I would not wish to be stressed and unproductive.

Daily dose of the Geneva Convention

2006-06-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

During one of the events we handled, I found myself with a copy of "THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS OF AUGUST 12 1949" distributed by the International Commission of the Red Cross so I decided that to help me get through difficult days at the office I would add an article a day just for the heck of it and may to, you know, acquaint the limited number of people who read this (probly 2 or 3 persons) with the finer points of the Geneva Convention in case you find yourself a Prisoner Of War (POW) you can now confidently tell your captors of the articles that are to be observed during your time as their unwilling guest and how these guidelines help mankind become more civilized in warfare... If they don't shoot you in the kneecaps first then commit various disturbing sexual attrocities, beat your ravaged and aching body senseless then feed you to whatever wild beast may be handy or just leave you to die of severe blood loss from uspeakable places due to further unmentionable acts. Well atleast you educated them on the finer points of civilized behaivior right?

"Every death or serious injury of an internee, caused or suspected to have been caused by a sentry, another internee or any other person, as well as any death, the cause of which is unknown, shall be immediately followed by an official inquiry by the detaining power.

Communication on the subject shall be sent immediately to the Protecting Power. The evidence and any witnesses shall be taken, and the report including such evidence shall be prepared and forward to the said protecting power. If the inquiry indicates the guilt of one or more persons, the detaining power shall take all necessary steps to ensure the prosecution of the person or persons responsible." -Article 131 The Geneva Conventions Of August 1949

This basically says that if the instance stated in the start of the post does occur, someone should report it and they shall investigate it and should say: "Yes indeed we subjected that poor fellow to such unspeakable atrocities and yes we did kill him, we killed him dead...but we are sorry..." and the international community, having no jurisdiction over the said party can whine and bitch and rally all over the globe but in a number of years they will rekindle the friendship and give each other group hugs. And the poor victim will be just another statistic.

Growing Pains of a Young Democracy

2006-05-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of Timor Leste? East Timor is located on Indonesia's main island, actually on the eastern tip of Indonesia's main island. What makes East Timor (now Timor Leste) special? Well unlike the majority of the coutry, East Timor is predominantly Roman Catholic. East Timor was asking for independence from Indonesia in for the past couple of decades and was only recently granted their independence. Now the Indonesian government was accused of a myriad of human rights violations, summary executions, torture, rape etc. The East Timor rebels were accused of their fair share of violations also and so the United Nations decided to intervene.

Finally, after years of struggling for democracy and independence they now have it. With a total population of about 2million or so people, the country does not have much of a labour force, not much of an economy and not much political clout. Their young government has worked hard to get their country moving and it seemed that everything was going well until recently.

Very recently actually. Just this week, violence has broken out in the young state due to soldier being relieved of their duties because the government cannot afford them anymore. I suppose countries like, Australia, New Zealand and the rest of the old UN group will be sending peacekeepers to Timor Leste, maybe the Philippines will also send its fair share of peacekeepers and I believe we should. In the whole "being a good neighbor and a responsible member of the community of nations" concept, we should help the budding young democracy because its the right thing to do but one should keep in mind that in international relations, self-interest always comes first so maybe in the long run, an alliance with this small nation can benefit the country.

I believe that we should send peacekeepers to Timor Leste. Why? Because we also went through something similar to that. We got disillusioned by democracy. We thought it would ease our lives, give us more money, more freedom and less worries. It is the magical pill for the troubled and repressed society but people don't realize that independence, freedom and democracy come at the great price of truly guiding one's destiny. Its happened before, just a few months back, Ukraine tried people power to change the government they legally elected. President Victor Yuschenko is now the bad guy and former pseudo-dictator-pro-Russian leader-who-tried-to-poison-his-opponent-and-namesake Victor Yanukovic is the good guy, the savior.

Although these things can be expected (e.g. after America won its independence from the British Empire they had one of the bloodiest civil wars in the history of the world) and can be chalked up to growing pains of a young democracy, it does not mean that we should stand idly by.

Growing up

2006-05-01T18:38:00.001-07:00

Adulthood sucks. Taking responsibility sucks. Managing your own life sucks. Why can't time just leave us alone in blissful ignorance of the nuances of growing up by not letting us ever grow up? Why can't we stay in that stage where we wake up in the morning, watch morning cartoons, play, have lunch, take our siesta which, according to our elders, will help us grow taller (if time doesn't pass do we have to grow taller?), wake up, play some more, have dinner, watch TV, take a bath, brush our teeth then go to sleep to begin the day anew?

At times the logic of change escapes me...

New Topic: The Butcher of the Balkans

2006-03-21T18:14:00.000-08:00

Slobodan Milosevic. Late President of the now defuct Yugoslavia. Most people would inquire as to his importance in the history of world events. People would say he's just another dictator in a country far far away and can only be seen on cnn or bbc or the newspapers. Opinions about him vary, from the vantage point of most individuals in the west he is a butcher, in the disintegration of Yugoslavia, he waged three bloody wars of ethnic cleansing, his paramilitary units reportedly killed thousands in raids on small villages, his armies shelled small towns and reduced it to rubble. The acts said to have been perpetrated by the serbian army included genocide in its various forms including rape and impregnation to ensure that the line of their victims are no longer pure but rather infused with serbian blood, kipnappings and executions, and other depredations not seen since the second world war. It took 78 days of bombing from NATO to convince him to stop. Long after the last shots were fired, mass graves were still being found and survivors still had nightmares about the rule of The Butcher of the Balkans.

As the perspective shifts from west to east the perception changes. For some Serbians Milosevic was a hero, a patriot, a leader and a father of a nation. Many went to his funeral amidst the screams and curses of anti-Milosevic citizens, they journey from their small country towns and big cities to witness the burial of their leader under the tree where he first kissed his wife. For some, he pas persecuted for trying to preserve what was Yugoslavia and did only what was best for the Serbian people. Until today, members of Milosevic's inner circle have yet to be arrested and brought to the Hague for prosecution. Some say they are being hidden by the people, trasferring from home to home, from farmhouse to farmhouse being fed a supported by believers in Milosevic's cause.

Why was Slobadan Milosevic so important? It could be because he espoused ultranationalist ideals which burned not only within himself but in many of his coutrymen. It could also be because the war in the balkans was one of the largest post war conflicts as of late. or maybe because the ethnic cleansing performed during the disintegration of Yugoslavia set the stage for so many other similar conflicts around the world, from Rwanda to Chechnya wars for freedom, wars for revenge. A former US Attorney general who is currently on Saddam Hussein's defense team said: "History will prove that Slobodan was right", this was followed by wild applause from the gathered crowd. Whether or not he did the right thig, history may prove his cause just or he may forever remain the Butcher of the Balkans for all eternity but one thing is certain: To the survivors he will always be a monster.

Last year...

2005-12-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

Last year during this time I was a totally different person, I was with someone else, I had a different lifestyle and had different habits. It is amazing how so many things can change in a year. It's almost been a year since my life has changed, if asked whether it was for the better or for the worse I'd have to go with the former. Freedom does have its price but it is freedom nonetheless. And yes the phrase for the year is: It's Complicated, its better than saying "same shit different day or SSDD" or "Boring...". The complications may be hard to deal with but atleast there is the knowledge that there is movement, there is change where once there was only rancid stagnation. More often than not progress, whether backward or forward, is good. Whether the holidays will indeed be happy or whether Chirstmas will be merry we have to understand that it's the year's way of giving us a final fare thee well. 2005 was a year of great upheavals and numerous sorrows which should teach us how to find happiness in the most miniscule of events and even in the darkest and deepest basements of our lives. Let us always, with good humor, offer to raise or shot glasses or bottles or mugs to life and all its rather fruitless-seeming endeavors!

Chill.

Age old question...

2005-11-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

For love or money?

The choice that has hounded millions since the dawn of time or one person had something another person wanted. Yet I'm not talking about relationships or marriage but careers. If people had a choice would they rather do a job they love doing or do something that pays more?

I suppose people have various reactions to it, some would choose to go for the money. A high paying job can afford financial stability, a certain amount of security and obviously alot of money but there's the fact that at the end of the day or in the midst of work, they ask themselves why they do what they do. Ofcourse there are various reasons, kids to support, things to buy and a lifestyle to maintain. Compromises and sacrifices have to be made somewhere.

Or is it better to be doing something that you love, not just something you like, something you love. A job would stop being a job once it has stopped becoming a burden at least that what people say. Imagine waking up in the morning and looking forward to going to work. The passion that you have for something almost certainly guarantees that you will do your best. But what if it pays less? Has less benefits? What if it cannot sustain the lifestyle previously enjoyed? What if you love your job but you love your kids more and you can't stand to see them starving because you can't afford to buy what they need, not want, need.

Maybe some enlightenment will come to all those uncertain people in one form or the other, may it be through the horoscope, tarrot cards, span mail, a friend's advice or a eureka moment in the toilet.

...

2005-11-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

I wonder how much a hut on the beach with a toilet and shower will cost? Maybe a hut on a mountain is better? Just to get away from the city. It really does choke you. The city may throb with life, whether day or night yet there is a certain aspect of the urban environment that appears dead. Could it be the lack of trees? The crammped and limited space filled with society's waste and garbage? Or the desperate look in the eyes of some people that can only be seen in the various sprawling metropolis' in the world since the first cities?

Every day people die violent deaths in this city. Everyday more and more people lose hope and everyday more and more people go crazy for numerous reasons citing hunger, poverty and pain as just a few of these. I guess it does goes to show that being so far away from mother nature turns human into animals.

Would it be escapism to leave and is it wrong to want to just up and leave? How many people, if given the chance, would want to leave the cities and live less technological lives in the countryside May it be the sandy beaches, the now partly-tree-covered mountains or the sprawling plains? Would we as city dwellers be able to adapt to a lifestyle without cable television, internet access, reserved seating movie houses, wi-fi hotspots, starbucks and various convenience stores, clubs and bars as we know it and shopping malls?

If we had to, would a life lived under clear skies and sparkling stars be considered an upgrade or a downgrade from what we have so far?

Admiring the surroundings

2005-11-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

Having the oppurtunity to stop and look around is always something to be treasured. These moments are few and far between. Its like recess in grade school. One of a student's most favorite part of the day. That brief respite from teachers and tables and books and blackboards. Life on the other hand does not hand us a definite schedule of breaks and rest periods, rather the moments are unexpected.

At the moment the warring sides in my head have declared a ceasefire or rather a detente. Upon reaching a stalemate I have been given a brief respite from near insanity and oh how wonderful it is to be lucid once more. I have no clue how long this period may last all I know is that atleast for now I have control over myself and my actions, albiet my self confidence is at a rather low point.

These moments prepare us for what may lie ahead. It is not the calm before the storm, it does not feel like such. It must be nature's way of saying I really need to rethink everything. Forgive my rambling dear reader for I wish to express myself now as I may never have the oppurtunity to do so again.

To step down or to go back up

2005-11-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Once the choice to decend into anything has been made, it is often possible to return to where one was initially. Unless it involves something deeper, more personal a choice than say going through the bedroom door and going back out. Certain things have thresholds that once crossed makes it impossible reverse, clothes worn can be changed at the last moment, meals ordered can be revised at one's convience and items bought can sometimes even be returned and exchanged for others and you may even get your money back.

Unfortunately the same cannot be said for matters dealing with those "cross-road-ish", life-changing decisions. a step taken in a direction can never be reversed, not entirely, as it leaves its mark on a person. Our choices indeed make us who we are. Is there such a thing as a good choice or a bad choice or are choices like luck, something neither good nor bad, just something present and needs to be accepted?

I long for a return to more uncomplicated times but don't we all? Do we not often remember our youth with a quiet smile accompanied by pleasant thoughts? Maybe not everyone feels the same yet it is undeniable that ignorance or should I say innocence is bliss. We mature so much that we are actually capable to making our own problems, we are so advanced and bored that we make difficult situations that only we can manage to solve. Not only is it a personal crisis, when we drag our dearest friends and family into it, we actually manage to spread the misery around.

I only wish for the strength to accept my decisions and live with my choices. I pray that I may stand ready to accept the consequences of my actions, to stand tall and to take it like a human being (or certain animals that nanage to stand on their hind legs for extended periods of time), standing up. I feel that at this moment time has stopped, i'm frozen in a picture or paused amidst a scene. The result of my actions will eventually come rushing towards me at stupendous speeds and they'll hit me like a frieght train on steroids but better that than to spend an etenity of indecision.

I would not return to the way it was even if I could. I know, with certainty, that there would be only one thing waiting for me there: The lonesome memory of the past.

The light's gone out

2005-11-04T11:08:00.000-08:00

I thought the way down would come quickly and I could see every painful step I take towards the bottom. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) The light gone out completely. I keep hoping that with every step my foot touches the solid planks that hold my life together yet the longer I walk, the more unsure I am.

I believed that everything in my existence atleast had some semblance of order, no matter how confusing it may be. Recently my opinion on the matter has taken a significantly different path. I see no rhyme or reason for all recent events in my seemingly insignificant and often futile existence. Makes me wonder how, if there was such a thing as fate, if it was a true living entity and not an abstract concept, it can keep track of a single individual not even capable of making a quarter of a ripple in the ocean of creation.

If employment did not always mean survival in an urban jungle then I wouldn't have to go through the long and painful process of working to earn currency of which we will use to not only satisfy our own basic needs but to bring us happiness. Its sad, just sad...

The Stairs Down

2005-10-31T04:30:00.000-08:00

Most people don't appreciate glam rock or Jon Bon Jovi's music but there's one song that I particularly fancy, "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night". There's this particular line which goes "Hey my name is Jim, where did I go wrong, My life's a bottom basement all the good shit's gone..."

I've Never been a believer in expressing my sentiments on the internet. Too many traces, too people and too much space. Yet strangely here I am with my first blog. I popped my own blog cherry so to speak... It just seems that I have an abundance of personal doubts and emotions that I have to find an outlet and I suppose posting something online for everyone to read would not seem so terrible.

What would normal people be doing at 4am on a sunday morning? Partying? Drinking? Performing various sexual acts with one or more individuals? Sleeping?
Well I'm stuck in a freezer like room, barely feeling my fingers and toes and having four or so, more hours of work to do.

How is it that at some point in one's life one realizes that maybe he or she made a wrong choice? Then consequently, starting from that instance tracing back to the beggining, one realizes that there were so many small mistakes leading up to that singular moment. Does that mean that one's life and existence has no more purpose? Does it invoke a strange fear of the past and of realizing that other errors lie in ambush as you walk down memory lane waiting for the right moment to leap from the shadows and strip you of what sanity or solace you may find therein? I'll just have to find out the hard way.