The light's gone out

I thought the way down would come quickly and I could see every painful step I take towards the bottom. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) The light gone out completely. I keep hoping that with every step my foot touches the solid planks that hold my life together yet the longer I walk, the more unsure I am.

I believed that everything in my existence atleast had some semblance of order, no matter how confusing it may be. Recently my opinion on the matter has taken a significantly different path. I see no rhyme or reason for all recent events in my seemingly insignificant and often futile existence. Makes me wonder how, if there was such a thing as fate, if it was a true living entity and not an abstract concept, it can keep track of a single individual not even capable of making a quarter of a ripple in the ocean of creation.

If employment did not always mean survival in an urban jungle then I wouldn't have to go through the long and painful process of working to earn currency of which we will use to not only satisfy our own basic needs but to bring us happiness. Its sad, just sad...